Does anyone else expect lifts once you mention your fetish to your girlfriend, or a c

[TheWolfe]

I'd never expect to get "pleasure on demand" in any case but I do feel like a girlfriend or wife should appreciate some soul baring and should try to add it to her arsenal of ways to please you.

I think most women would be immediately turned off by the word "fetish" so I'd avoid that but most sexual relationships eventually get into a "What turns you on?" sort of discussion. On the other hand I recall one of those conversations with an ex - an ex who never engaged in any L&C beyond letting me carry her - in which she told me that seeing Tim Curry in Rocky Horror was a turn-on and she'd like to see me made up like that. No way! I just didn't want to see myself in that way and didn't want her to have this indelible image of me like that in her mind. There are things you just can't un-see! What I realize, though, is that my refusal was (and in that case still is and will always be) based on my own view of what she asked me to do and completely ignores how she would have seen it.

So if you can, take your mind out of L&C mode for a minute and try to see it the way a girl might see it. She may not wish to see herself or wish to present herself in a way that's a role reversal in the context of the male/female imagery she's used to. Likewise she may not want to see her man in that way either. For those wishing their girl would engage in F/F it may be completely out of their sexual comfort zone too. Some might even find it creepy that you like it and begrudgingly avoid L&C as a result.

So cheers to those who have found girlfriends and wives who are good sports!

[Chaza]

Originally Posted by TheWolfe

So if you can, take your mind out of L&C mode for a minute and try to see it the way a girl might see it. She may not wish to see herself or wish to present herself in a way that's a role reversal in the context of the male/female imagery she's used to. Likewise she may not want to see her man in that way either. For those wishing their girl would engage in F/F it may be completely out of their sexual comfort zone too. Some might even find it creepy that you like it and begrudgingly avoid L&C as a result.

So cheers to those who have found girlfriends and wives who are good sports!

It is funny, this post pretty much sums up the fetish element to my relationship in the last 3 years.

When my girlfriend first found out about my lift and carry desires it was pretty much harmless (i guess she saw it as fun)! I got frequent lifts and I was generally spoiled in this respect. However things got set in to a routine and there became a time where my girlfriend saw it as a role reversal activity and she didn't like seeing her man in such ways. She even started to find it creepy!

Ill be honest with you (this is hard for me to admit) a few comments where shared between she and I which actually threatened my manhood (she didn't really see me as much of a man in my opinion)! This was very hard for me to take at the time, especially because I had no idea that she saw lift and carry like this, as I sure did not!

I took things for granted and things turned nasty. I have now spent the last year avoiding lift and carry and actively working out to restore this. I am pleased to say i am not a small guy now and I believe I have restored my manhood in her eyes (although this took time) ; although those days in the past still hurt a little.

Sorry for the horror story! I hope one day she will consider my point of view on lift carry, and not be put off by "cultural elements". Although I will never push it ever again. lol


Disclaimer
This is very personal information to me (some parts where hard to admit too), so please consider that as a member I have put it upon myself to post such sensitive information as an attempt to help reassure other members who may be in this particular position.

I take full responsibility over my post too, so although it is sensitive please do not move to a VIP section. I wish to discuss and help

[smallwm]

I am single so if I were to get a girlfriend I would never force to her to lift me but I would jokingly hint at it from time to time in a way that won't creep her out. Any advice would be appreciated and would get a thanks from me.

[allffcradles]

One girl I told who is my closest female friend has never let me cradle her again, some just aren't as easy going as one would like! (That was 10yrs ago) For some odd reason she tried to carry me a month or so after and failed, well I hope someday she'll let her guard down 10yrs is a long time

She doesn't like being carried in the first place, the last time I did was to treat myself for my 20th birthday and it was in public

While I never got to meet her in real life there was one female who I used to play an online game with who also had an interest in f/f carrying, she claimed she's bisexual and would carry her female friends whenever she had the chance. I did tell her about this site, don't know if she joined. Is certainly more interesting to get a girl's perspective on this fetish!

[TheWolfe]

Originally Posted by Chaza

Disclaimer
This is very personal information to me (some parts where hard to admit too), so please consider that as a member I have put it upon myself to post such sensitive information as an attempt to help reassure other members who may be in this particular position.

I take full responsibility over my post too, so although it is sensitive please do not move to a VIP section. I wish to discuss and help

Awesome post, man! Great openness and honesty.

Even us F/F fans get called creepy by people close to us. Rather than having it viewed as something outside of their role comfort zone, asking your girl to perform F/F can make her feel like she alone isn't enough to satisfy you. If it's about viewing F/F images you're a voyeur who sexualizes a non-sexual act. Either way you can be a creep in her eyes and it hurts when she tells you.

It ain't easy being us!

[allffcradles]

Originally Posted by Chaza

She even started to find it creepy!

Hello fellow countryman. It's unfair to think of your desires as creepy, if it had been you liking to be the lifter fair enough such a thing can be seen as harassment if you do it without consent but you can't force someone to lift you against their will, if anything I'd thought that would make you less creepy than a typical bloke. Lift and carry in its pure form is harmless but there are darker branches that make up its roots and branches such as kidnapping, necrophilia, incapacitation, domination etc.

One girl I was close with thought of the fetish as rpmantic and innocent. Unfortunately I'm on very bad terms with her and as I said elsewhere if I ever lift her again I'd deliberately drop her and painfully!

[TheWolfe]

Originally Posted by allffcradles

Hello fellow countryman. It's unfair to think of your desires as creepy, if it had been you liking to be the lifter fair enough such a thing can be seen as harassment if you do it without consent but you can't force someone to lift you against their will, if anything I'd thought that would make you less creepy than a typical bloke. Lift and carry in its pure form is harmless but there are darker branches that make up its roots and branches such as kidnapping, necrophilia, incapacitation, domination etc.

One girl I was close with thought of the fetish as rpmantic and innocent. Unfortunately I'm on very bad terms with her and as I said elsewhere if I ever lift her again I'd deliberately drop her and painfully!

What seems to make women think L&C is creepy (outside of gender role stereotype issues) is that we sexualize a non-sexual act. The vast majority of material posted here is innocent photos of people behaving in a way they don't intend to be sexual. Then we go and find those photos they've posted to share with their friends and appropriate them for our own purposes here without their knowledge. We're driven to do this by an insatiable desire to see more and more images of L&C. For such an innocent, harmless act to rule us with such a strong craving could be viewed as creepy, couldn't it? When we come clean and ask our women to perform L&C for us, they feel like their security is violated because a simple, innocent act that they may have participated in now and then is now revealed to be a sexual act in your eyes. If you could sexualize that, what other innocent act might you sexualize? And if you, the person she's close to can do that, then how about that guy at work who she catches looking at her or some random guy at the supermarket? There are a lot of strange fetishes out there, much stranger than L&C, because guys can sexualize anything. Most women already know this but they suppress it until the guy they let into their life - the one they felt safe with - brought the creepy side of male sexuality in with him.

Of course there are women who are more open-minded, understanding and accepting than that but they're certainly the minority.

[Chaza]

Originally Posted by TheWolfe

What seems to make women think L&C is creepy (outside of gender role stereotype issues) is that we sexualize a non-sexual act. The vast majority of material posted here is innocent photos of people behaving in a way they don't intend to be sexual. Then we go and find those photos they've posted to share with their friends and appropriate them for our own purposes here without their knowledge. We're driven to do this by an insatiable desire to see more and more images of L&C. For such an innocent, harmless act to rule us with such a strong craving could be viewed as creepy, couldn't it? When we come clean and ask our women to perform L&C for us, they feel like their security is violated because a simple, innocent act that they may have participated in now and then is now revealed to be a sexual act in your eyes. If you could sexualize that, what other innocent act might you sexualize? And if you, the person she's close to can do that, then how about that guy at work who she catches looking at her or some random guy at the supermarket? There are a lot of strange fetishes out there, much stranger than L&C, because guys can sexualize anything. Most women already know this but they suppress it until the guy they let into their life - the one they felt safe with - brought the creepy side of male sexuality in with him.

Of course there are women who are more open-minded, understanding and accepting than that but they're certainly the minority.

Well explained and thought out. I never looked at our community in that sort of way before! Wow I think I have scared myself XD; I joke of course!

Although it does make you think.

[allffcradles]

Originally Posted by TheWolfe

What seems to make women think L&C is creepy (outside of gender role stereotype issues) is that we sexualize a non-sexual act. The vast majority of material posted here is innocent photos of people behaving in a way they don't intend to be sexual. Then we go and find those photos they've posted to share with their friends and appropriate them for our own purposes here without their knowledge. We're driven to do this by an insatiable desire to see more and more images of L&C. For such an innocent, harmless act to rule us with such a strong craving could be viewed as creepy, couldn't it? When we come clean and ask our women to perform L&C for us, they feel like their security is violated because a simple, innocent act that they may have participated in now and then is now revealed to be a sexual act in your eyes. If you could sexualize that, what other innocent act might you sexualize? And if you, the person she's close to can do that, then how about that guy at work who she catches looking at her or some random guy at the supermarket? There are a lot of strange fetishes out there, much stranger than L&C, because guys can sexualize anything. Most women already know this but they suppress it until the guy they let into their life - the one they felt safe with - brought the creepy side of male sexuality in with him.

Of course there are women who are more open-minded, understanding and accepting than that but they're certainly the minority.

Well so far the few women I have told have been more open minded, albeit some were confused that such a thing can be a fetish. Some even think it's sweet, some brush it off if they're more knowledgeable of fantasies and what not (I myself don't get easily shocked as I've been online long enough to come across much weirder things, certainly less innocent) Well some yes aren't so keen to be lifted as you say once they know there's a hidden motive behind it but certainly creepy a very wrong way to view the thing (Unless it implies one using force, harrassment or threats to get their desires, as with the case of that mot23

Overall I will conclude fetishes are very misunderstood, heck I don't really understand why I have them myself (Part of the fun though) I can accept someone thinking lift and carry is strange but as for creepy I can never support that in its pure form, as in not tied with kidnap, chloroform, domination and the other darker extensions to it

[TheWolfe]

I've never run into a girl who found it creepy (occasionally annoyed, yes but not creepy) that I wanted to lift her. It's about wanting the girl to do the lifting. I can't give you an actual experience asking a girl to lift me but Chaza did. I've found that if a girl does F/F in a flirty/teasing way on her own idea right in front of you without any clue about your interest, then she catches your reaction, odds are good that she'll repeat it to get the reaction again because she did it naturally and she likes to tease for the reaction. If you ask a girl to do F/F in the context of "I think it's hot", that's when it becomes creepy even if the girl likes to tease because you're asking for it. There are also some whose brains will identify your request as a sex act because of the context and be creeped that you're requesting a sex act that involves another girl.

You really have to work hard to take your way of thinking out of your own fetish fantasy mode and get inside the thought patterns of your girl's head. Lifting (with a female lifter) is often far outside of their realm.